Journal Entry from 9/20/2014

Consider carefully how you approach the Lord. Obligation to pray or wrong motives will send you into His presence burdened with guilt and selfish ambition. We are called to enter into His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise (Psalm 100:4)

The Final Quest

"We have witnessed many wonders since the creation, but the voluntary suffering of men for the Lord and for their fellow men is the greatest wonder of all. We [angels], too, must fight and even suffer at times, but we dwell where there is such light and glory that it is very easy to do this.

When we see men and women choose to suffer for a hope they can see only dimly in their hearts, it causes even the greatest angels to bow their knee and gladly serve those heirs of salvation. We marvel at the dedication of you who dwell, with so little encouragement, in a place of such darkness and evil.

At first, we did not understand why the Father decreed that men would have to walk by faith-- suffering great opposition while not having the benefit of beholding the reality and the glories of the heavenly realm. But now, we understand that through these sufferings, He proves their worthiness to receive the great authority that they will be given as members of His own household.

This walk of faith is now the greatest wonder in heaven. those who pass this test are worthy to sit with the lamb on His throne, for He has made them worthy and they have proven their love."

The Love that God Desires

The greatest command is to "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might" (Deuteronomy 6:5). This is what we were made for: to love God. When we love God, everything in our lives comes into perfect balance and alignment. God gave man laws to show us how to operate and function in a way that facilitates right order and blessing. He commands us “to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, so that you may live” (Deuteronomy 30:6)

“All of the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments”: to love God and love others. Love is foundational to a fulfilled, abundant, prosperous, joy-filled life. Not to mention a life that is submitted and obedient to the Lord Jesus.

Not only does all of the law hinge on these two commands but the second command hinges on the first. We cannot effectively, sustainably, and powerfully love others unless it is a direct outflow from our love for God. However, I’ve observed and personally experienced that loving God has become a mysteriously abstract and elusive command to observe. As a result, many believers are perennially frustrated in their attempts to love God and draped in condemnation due to their lack of love. Unsuccessful in the first command, they often default to doing the second and shift all of their energy and efforts into loving others. This results in burnout and disillusionment.

Loving God is not a difficult thing. He is altogether lovely, fairer than the sons of man, a friend that is closer than a brother, he is extremely likable and amazingly lovable. Those that do not love him have not truly seen Him or are simply unwilling to give up their own selfish ambitions ie the Pharisees. God is worthy of the center place of our hearts. Anything else that sits in that central place of importance in our heart will violently and adamantly resist upheaval.

If God is so lovable then why are so many believers seemingly always struggling to love Him more? I believe, like every sin, it has to do with our lack of understanding and wrong belief- particularly about what loving God looks like. There are many forms of love. In the bible there are at least 4- agape, phileo, storge, and eros. These attempt to capture the many different forms and expressions of love. For instance, when I say I love food it means something very different than when I say I love my parents. With both, there is volition and intentional effort but it is primarily a response and an emotion.

I think that love is actually quite simple- but we over complicate it. Don't get me wrong, love is not explainable, it is incredibly multifaceted, deep, and unimaginably powerful- but it’s simple (i think). When we love something or someone- we know it, and it moves us. I have never heard a husband or wife (in a healthy marriage) say “I’m just trying to love my spouse”. Now, they may struggle with expressing love and communicating with each other, but it is their love for one another that allows them to persevere and sustain the relationship. It’s out of their love that they serve and sacrifice. Service and sacrifice are not a substitute for love. Neither is effort.

On the other hand, when it comes to God. Love becomes incredibly abstract, out of reach, and difficult. Every sincere Christian I know wants to love God more- and that’s a really good thing. However, many do not feel secure and confident in that love. Despite our best efforts, we can’t seem to will emotions or affection in our hearts towards an invisible God who feels distant and mysterious. Want to know why? It’s because we can’t will emotions or affection in our hearts. At least not in a way that facilitates intimate connection, affection, and abundant life.

I fully believe in our own agency and ability to make powerful choices. A primary component of love is certainly choice. But love that is solely choice is not fully love. That is why the apostle John said “we love because He first loved us”. Not just a choice- but a response. So what if we recognize that He loves us- we’ve been told and believe that He gave His own life for us. Surely that fact is enough to generate love and affection in our hearts- if we would just meditate on it more and more and convince ourselves of our unworthiness. That’s going back to self-willed love.

Here’s where I believe our understanding of love plays a role in how we relate to God. Remember the four words for love used in the bible? Most Christians have been taught that Agape is God’s love- the highest form of love and what we should strive for. In fact, it’s the same word that Jesus used when He said to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and might”. Or in perhaps the most quoted verse “God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only son” (John 3:16). But then, 3 verses later: “men loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil” (John 3:19). This love is also agape love. “They loved [agapao] the praise of men more than the praise of God” (John 12:43).

I think we’ve been slightly misled. A better definition of agape is self-willed love, love borne out of volition and sacrifice. Certainly a good thing. And absolutely a component of what led Jesus to the cross. But is it the highest aim of a Christian? To have a self-willed, volitional love that is sacrificial? I do not believe so.

I believe that Peter operated out of this love better than any of the other disciples. He was zealous in his love for Jesus and courageously went where none of the others did. He walked on water, he was in the inner circle, and he boldly proclaimed that even if all the other disciples fell away, he would not (Mark 14:28). However, in the moment of testing, Peter’s agape love failed him. It was not enough to keep him from denying the one he purposed to love so much. Love that is borne out of our efforts is limited by our willpower, discipline, and strength.

“Simon, son of John, do you agape me more than these?”

“Lord, you know that I phileo you”

Peter is drenched in shame. He abandoned his best friend and rabbi in His greatest moment of need. He did what he vowed he would never do. Sound familiar?

Again Jesus asks “Simon, son of John, do you agape me?”

“Yes, Lord; You know that I phileo you”

Peter can no longer say that he has greater love for Jesus than anyone else. He can no longer boast in his willpower or devotion. All he has is 3 years of memories and a deep brotherly affection for the man Jesus. Phileo love is not theological or abstract. It is a deep affection borne out of shared experience and familiarity. It doesn’t need to be loud or showy. In fact, the depth of the connection is only known by the two parties involved. It can’t really be explained to others. Jesus responds to Peter’s shameful admission in an unlikely way:

“Shepherd my sheep”

Peter feels like he’s failed; like he doesn’t have what it takes to be Jesus’ right hand man. He’s not a powerful, bold, fearless man. He’s just a friend of Jesus. Jesus’ response says: That is who I am looking for. “Feed my lambs”.

Jesus waited until Peter stopped relying on his own willpower and agape love to entrust him with the most important part of his heart: his sheep. Phileo love cannot be mustered up and it does not depend on our willpower. It can only be developed over time through shared experience, through intimacy, and conversation.

Peter had already been given authority and sent out to cast out demons and heal the sick. Later, at pentecost, he would receive the Holy Spirit which would enable him to preach with incredible boldness and win the souls of thousands. However, none of these equipped him to feed the sheep of Jesus’ flock. That kind of authority was developed in him as he walked with Jesus. As he connected his heart with Jesus’ heart. As he shared his life with Jesus and progressed from disciple and servant to friend and brother.

Lovers always outperform servants. It rarely happens in a moment, and it is always proved and tested over time. Deep love for God is birthed in our hearts as we allow ourselves to be loved by Him. It will engage every area of our mind, soul and strength. It will touch our deepest emotions as well as our highest intellect. It will lead us through great hardship and tremendous sacrifice. We choose the narrow path because we follow the one we love. We cannot hope to sustainably or successfully walk the narrow path in an attempt to love. Before you try harder to love God. Let yourself be loved by Him. Before you attempt to increase your love for Him by doing things for Him, let His love flood your heart by being with Him. It may not come in an instant, but all pure love develops and matures over time. Falling in love with Jesus is what empowers us to carry our cross. It's what strengthens us to face any obstacle or persecution. It's what gives us integrity and authority. He is altogether lovely, altogether worthy, altogether wonderful to me.

Authenticity: the path to experiencing real love

The more we put on a front the less we will experience true liberating love because we will have, at least in our minds, earned it.

But the more we are honest, humble, and real about our weaknesses the more we will realize we don't deserve any of the love we receive.

If we cant show our true selves to anyone how will we let them love us. We are at our most lovable when we are most ourselves. God made us for love.

---I am posting this short thought that I wrote a long time ago because the post that I spent the last month writing was accidentally deleted and lost!!! I committed to restarting my blog in the new year so here this is until I can rewrite my original post lol. Also this year I am resolving to continue growing in vulnerability and transparency with God and with people so I found this relevant. -------

Happy New Year!

The Veil

"I see activation angels more often than any other kind. When I'm at a church that knows God wants to actively and continuously pour out his love on them, these angels are soaring through the crowd doling out endless gifts, blessings, and impartations. Tragically, in most settings I see these angels waiting. Whether it's for someone to send them, someone to open up their heart and mind, or someone to take ownership of their city or neighborhood- they're waiting for someone who knows what God has given to His people.

As I said, I know that God is sovereign and all-powerful, but sometimes I think that instead of using that power to place us in an inescapable valley pointed at our destiny, He simply placed us on a world in need and gave us the keys to His kingdom along with the authority to recreate it on earth.

Maybe it isn't our job to discern the mysteriously hidden path that God drew for us. Maybe there is no path. sometimes people come to me asking for direction or clarity, saying that they just can't figure out what God is telling them to do. Most of the time I tell those poeple to stop asking God what to do, and start being inspired by the magnificence of who He is.

I can't help but think that God is waiting for us to get to know what a friend and father He is, and find the building blocks of heaven that He placed on earth."

-Blake Healy

The key to walking in victory

The process of renewing your mind is an essential part of the life of a Christian. As heirs of the promises of God living in the world there is a tension between the spiritual realm where we have been made more than conquerors, all things work for our good, etc and the physical realm where circumstances and situations often seem to say otherwise.

When we are faced with such a disconnect, we have a decision to make: choose to allow our experience to speak the final word or fight to believe a better word. The fight of faith implies that there is a battle to believe the truth.

This fight takes place in the battlefield of the mind. We do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10)

Laying hold of the truth and possessing God's promise is not denying our current situation or devaluing our feelings. When we are depressed, it is not spiritual or helpful to say "I am happy!" When we are hard pressed on every side, declaring "I am victorious!" will not change our circumstances.

We walk by faith not by sight. This does not mean that we open our spiritual eyes and close our physical eyes. But when we are staring straight at a physical situation are we going to walk as though that is the only reality or will we gaze to see in the spirit? Are we going to let natural factors dictate the direction of our path or will we consider spiritual truths?

The narrow path is found through difficult circumstances. Possessing the promise requires that we go through the wilderness. A good teacher not only teaches his students but also tests them. When we encounter a trial, the way that we respond reveals what we believe. The process of maturation allows us to declare the truth no matter how contrary our circumstances. God's truth gives us stability and resilience in the midst of changing circumstances if we can recognize when our situation or our feelings are lies and run to the truth and respond in light of the truth.

CASE STUDY from 2 Kings 6: 14-17:

Then he sent horses and chariots and a strong force there. They went by night and surrounded the city. (Bad situation)

When the servant of the man of God got up and went out early the next morning, an army with horses and chariots had surrounded the city. “Oh no, my lord! What shall we do?” the servant asked. (Assessment of the situation, freak out)

 “Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” (The Christian is not shaken by what he sees but perceives a greater reality that no one else understands)

And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. (Faith overcomes the present trial AND makes the nature and character of God known so that others get a glimpse of His kingdom)

Clean Up

When we dont value a space we dont take care of it.

When we dont take care of a space, we dont value it.

It's harder to make a messy room less messy than it is to keep a clean room clean. It's even harder to clean a room when you live in a dumpy house- cus who cares? it's a dump!

Christian, do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? (1 Cor 3:16)

Some of us think we are a dumpy temple. God thinks otherwise. If we are formed by God we have the best blueprint and design ever. Along the way we may have strayed from the blueprint and done things contrary to design but a holy temple with an ugly rug and bad wallpaper is still a holy temple.

Many people see the Holy Spirit as a sort of nanny- cleaning up some of our messes or pointing them out to us so we clean them up. Worse yet, we see Him as a naggy hall monitor restricting us from acting as we please and blowing a whistle at our every mistake.

The Holy Spirit is also called the Spirit of Truth. He is not a whistleblower, a naggy nanny, or a strict party pooper. He discloses and leads us into the Truth. and the Truth brings life.

When we allow the Holy Spirit into our lives, we are following the blueprint of God. All of a sudden our body and our souls are aligned with God's design and we can begin to see our bodies for what they were made to be- holy temples of God, and we can see our souls functioning as they should- bearing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.

God fully recognizes our perversions, distortions, and mess ups- we are not living as we should in many ways. Religion points out all of our shortcomings and focuses our attention on fixing them with the hopes that in the end we will look presentable to God. We are trying to tidy a place that we are being told is a dump- as a result, it is a burden to clean and no matter how much we clean it will always be a dump.

What if, despite our shortcomings and our mess, God does not stand far off and point out the dirty spots but actually comes in and cleans them himself? This is a foundational truth to Christianity. But I still think that its implications are somewhat lost. God is not cleaning up our dumpy place. He wants to awaken us to the reality that we are made in His image, we have infinite value, we have purpose, and we have a divine design and destiny.

When we realize who we are in Him we begin to truly value our lives- the actions follow. Nobody carelessly puts their feet up on a king's table. or puts a cheap spoiler on a lamborghini. or leaves trash around in a palace. You get the point. Our actions reflect the value we place in our lives.

There are many people out there pointing out the messes in other peoples' lives. You need to fix this, fix that. Dont you know that God doesnt like that? People in the slums dont act like kings unless you put them in a palace and show them that they're royalty.  You can take the kid out of the ghetto but you cant take the ghetto out of the kid-- until the kid is adopted by a perfect father who shows him he was never meant for the ghetto and demonstrates a life worth living and lays down His life for the kid. That'll take the ghetto out of the kid. That'll give the kid purpose and a reason to live.

There are a lot of people out there pointing out messes because they believe God is looking for fixer-uppers He can move into. They see the potential in people- if only they would fix this or fix that. They try to get people to realize that things are all wrong and they need to renovate their lives.  People live wrong because they dont realize their value. and people cant make changes unless they see the blueprint and have a vision for the final product.

When we begin to value other people and recognize them for who they were designed to be. They begin to value themselves in the same way. They'll clean up without us having to constantly tell them they need to clean up. When Jesus washes us, He's not cleaning junk. He's washing away junk to reveal what He created underneath (see the Angel in the Stone post below!!). He's tearing down ugly wallpaper, removing bad rugs, and reconnecting circuits to their rightful place.

"You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you" (John 15:3) 
"You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession" (1 Peter 2:9) 
"We are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works" (Ephesians 2:10)